MY TRASH

Monday, August 31, 2009

It's teacher's day again. Fwah, today was a blast. Today's concert was brilliant it's quite plain. But well, it was great. Haha. I met Shu Xian shortly after Syarifah went home and we went to her school wanting to grab her report book. Way before that, Shu Xian and I had lunch at S11 and Jason came along. As usual, he has issues with me. Damn him. I didn't know that he knew Xuan You and Hughes. After lunch, Jason wanted to join Xuan You and the guys. They left actually. So Shu Xian went to get her hair snipped and Jason and me chilled. Later on, we went to East Spring Sec.

Too bad, the guards told us that there isn't any staff today. We did met Andy and Nora eventually. Ohh, Andy became a manly man. He's more tanned and taller. I believe that he has muscles too. Hahaha. His voice turned too. Sounds nicer. Haha. Nora was as usual. We met Mdm Latifa and she's still her usual self. I'm glad that her scolding and threat's turned me to who I am today. I saw this damn familiar face in school and it turned out to be Roshidi. Damn, I remembered his name when Nora told me. He looked at me with a weird expression. Haha. Same old guy. After hanging around the primary school we once used to be students in, we went off to see Jie Sheng and Chin How. Guys being guy, they were playing basketball. I was rather shock to see Chin How. Why, you ask? He changed a lot! He became taller and fit. I thought I got the wrong person, but I didn't! He even wanted to smack my face to make sure. Haha. Omg lah, then there was Jie Sheng. Still the usual guy, too shy to say hi. The both of them look great. But Chin How has to take good care of his face. Jie Sheng's faced looks clean from a far.

I left a note to my buddy. She was in primary 1 when I was in primary 5. Now, 3 years has passed since I left the school and she's primary 5 now. I still could remember her cute face with the high pitched voice. She called me just now and I feel so touched. She still could remember me. Haha. I hope to meet her soon. She's such a darling!

After everything, I went to Pasir Ris with Shu Xian to get something. That something is a surprise for somebody. When I went off, Andy looked rather jealous. Hahaha. Ehh, but at least I took a picture with him. There it is...

Man, right? Haaha. I remembered how he was in primary school with the thin legs running around hitting people. Good old days. Haha. I also met Jared and a friend of his today. His friend was like making fun of my name, I guess? Qian Ying later bought her barbell from the store and we went off to MacDonald's for Shu Xian, after that we went home. As soon as I went home, I fell asleep while watching The Simpsons. Too tired. Haha.

I gotta study hard. I got a 41st position for overall CA! AHHH!! Last in class! *faints*

It BLOWed up at 6:09 AM

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Today was rather boring.

I woke up at 0800 today actually but I fell asleep again. I woke up at 1000, Putra texted to tell me that he can't open the required documents for his proposals. His microsoft version is 2003 and the document was 2007. Hoho. After waking up, I saw mom's pancakes. One word, awesome. Haha. After my shower, my dad was like, 'come on now, let's change up. Time for lunch.'' Fwah.. After lunch, I went for a ''meeting'' with the CI for the main proposal and as usual there was some comments about it. ''The first day is too dry'' How about we wet the cadets with water so that their day won't be dry? I was thinking, if we don't double usual timing, would this Holiday Intensive Training be a intensive one? The schedule is way better and I can see my work standard inside. Oh well, I can't have much say about it. The Luke problem is also settled, eventually. 2 hours 45 minutes.

After I went home and pretty much settled down, my dad tuned into this movie about Bruce Lee's master. Nice movie. I suddenly remembered about something only when half of the day was gone. It's been a year since the incident that changed my whole life. I still could remember clearly what happened. I still could remember how I reacted when you spoke to me over the phone. I got it all wrong at first and it seems very clear later on. Yeap, a year has passed. Till today, there's certain parts about me that reminds me of you. As you speak sometimes, it reminds me of me as well. Lol. Even when I went for the CIP of Friday, a particular household reminded me of you because of it's smell. It's so familiar and it turns out to be your smell. Brilliant, but heart breaking memories....

I'm browsing through some pages of music schools in Singapore. I really wanna return to learn more about drums. There's still so much to learn.

I have a few crisis now. First, there isn't any space in my NYAA diary anymore, AHHH!! Second, I can't finish my POA homework. Third, Mr Chai's PE lesson is coming up again.

But it'll pass soon. Hohoho. ^^

It BLOWed up at 3:40 AM

Saturday, August 29, 2009

On Friday, I talked to Ms Cheng about Shu Xian. Eventually, after talking to her for about 30 mins, she can't give a definite answer. Oh well, hope that Shu Xian can join my school. There was the yellow ribbon project at Pasir Ris from 1600-1830. I was about 15 minutes late. But I still made it, I guess. During the CIP, it was fun. Qian Ying and I had such chemistry that when we went down the stairs of the blocks, she turned left and I turned right ringing the doorbells of the residents. It was fun and I hope that I could join it again. Haha.

Today, I went to Shu Xian's house to pass her the application for admission for my school and talked to her about what Ms Cheng said. I can see anxiety in her and she's just hiding it.

As I signed in to my email account just now, I was quite impressed by Luke. I know he needs more time for his tent pitching. But there is seriously no time. The only reason that I plan much more time for each activity/ programme is for buffer time. He should think about cadets moving from one place to another and their water breaks. The poor guy did his proposal to extend his time till 4 in the morning. But I'm afraid that the answer is still no as there's no time. 3 hours is just too long, Luke.

It BLOWed up at 1:50 AM

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Sigh.. It's been 4 years since I lost my grandmother. She's missing so much of my life. I really want her to be apart of my life again when I was young. But it's all too late, I didn't treasure her. I was the best medicine for her back then.

Today's time was quite fast. Went to school as usual with Qian Ying. Mr Goh had an announcement to meet us, and it was about the CIP and teacher's day. After hearing that idiot dummy particular male teacher's name, I didn't wanna get involve in it. I don't wanna see that not malay, but chinese face of his. You treat students like dogs and I hope that you'll be treated like one during Teacher's Day.

POA was crap, I got back my results and I've got 12/20. I know it's bad, but does she have to say that I always talk to Jared? We're friends, and I believe that we have the god damned bloody rights to talk. We respected you, that's why we whispered. Did you respect us? No.

Chemistry was quite okay, I got a 5/25 and a 10/25 for Physics. During recess, I got so sick of something. After I saw a weird look from somebody. It's my life. Aren't you people so free that you keep talking about it again? I know my life is not perfect at all. But do you guys have to constantly gossip about it? Have you reflected on your life?

Social Studies was a blast. Mdm Yue showed us a video of coasts and I fell asleep. I guess, it's too boring. Copied notes as usual and Xuan You and Faisal lent my pens. There's something about Xuan You that I'm impressed. He's talkative and irritates teachers most of the time. But he's the best. How does he do it? I don't know! Nice guy with a handsome face, but annoying character.

After school, I met Syarifah with Farah in the toilet. Whoa! But we didn't go anywhere and Qian Ying and I went home straight. We talked about the CIP tomorrow and I still can't understand why the time starts at 4pm tomorrow. If you happen to spot anybody in Pasir Ris wearing neon green with green pants/ skirt, it's us.

After I went home, I've been receiving calls. The worst nightmare was here; LUKE! He bargained with me for 3 hours for tent pitching. But isn't that too long? Well, I'll let the CI in charge know about this. But he said 2 hours. Whoaa, cadets these days are getting nice privilages. Damn it.

I've received proposals now. And it's about a week more to the deadline. After looking at the proposals, I really do need to change the schedule. RIGHT NOW!

It BLOWed up at 5:40 AM

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

I survived! I feel so nice. I've passed the last minute stuff. I slept for only about 3 hours, I guess.

School was great but I have a few obstacles today and I managed to survive from them. But I failed by 2.4km run again. Damn. And it was only by 1.4minutes. Jared was kinda ''weird'' to me today. He was nice to me and even placed a extra chair behind the wall so that I could put my stuff. But Xuan You abused it. Damn him! Edwina and I have the same view about Xuan You. He's got a handsome face, but annoying to the max. Much later on during ACE, I felt something about Jared. I think something made him upset again. I sure do hope that he knows how to struggle with his feelings.

After school...
The meeting was sorta alright, I guess. I hope everybody can understand what we briefed about. The 3rd draft for main proposal would be done up soon, as this is what I promised the CI in charge. Did I mention that the CI in charge looks great after his haircut? WOOO~ He sure did. Something ironic happened, Zulkifli briefed the activity I/Cs on what I wanted to brief. That saved my breath. Haha.

After the meeting, I went home with my dad's birthday cake. He looks happy though it's simple. But that was what he wanted. I can feel it.

Well, happy 50th birthday, dad!

It BLOWed up at 5:52 AM

Monday, August 24, 2009

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

I think I'm on the verge of having a breakdown. This usually happens, but I'll be alright soon after. Irfan, Irfan.. How I wish that you're not that busy.

School was alright. The career seminar that we had passed by really fast and for the rest of the day, we were all in the library. I talked to Mr Syam about Shu Xian and Irfan about the proposal.

I feel like I'm going to pop soon.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

It BLOWed up at 6:36 AM

Sunday, August 23, 2009

School's getting more boring. Oh well, there's Physics and Chemistry CA tomorrow. That'll be before and after recess. Damn... I haven't even studied. I just can't be bothered. It's a Sunday and it was raining, of course I'll feel lazy. Hahaha.

This afternoon, I received a message from Edwina. It stated that the Yellow Ribbon Project is gonna be this Friday, 4pm at Pasir Ris. 4pm?! Why can't it be earlier?!

I'm gonna have to talk to Ms Cheng for Shu Xian, I guess. It's still kinda freaky to me but I'll take the advice and go through Mr Syam first. I hope that it'll be successful. At least, I can look after her if she's in the school as me. I'm so worried about it. But, I've got a mission to do. And I'm gonna complete it. So, Ms Cheng, please give me some good news!

One lesson that I learnt today, you should live life like the song, The Great Escape. That song always cheers me up. Hahaha.

When I woke up this afternoon, I saw 2 new messages on my phone and it was from Valerie and Shu Xian. They wanted me to go out, but I didn't feel like it. Sorry, but next time.

I accomplished something today and that was watching Michael Jackson's best performance. I can't recall where the place was but it was spectacular. It was 2 hours long and during some parts of the show, I fell asleep. The weather was too nice, sorry!

Cassandra, if you're reading this, I just wanna say that I hope that we can catch up soon and share things together like we were before when we were much younger. I have a few places in mind on where we can go actually. Haha.

''The fastest way to get out of school is to study hard'' as quoted by Mrs Chia.

It BLOWed up at 5:21 AM

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Nothing much for Friday. I got a ''gift'' in the morning and it was quite expected. Hahaha. After recess was hell. All 3 periods were tests straight. POA was pretty easy but I didn't do much for the theory question. But it's a definite pass. :D For Maths, it ain't that simple. My stomach was crapping up that I just can't concentrate. Out of 30 marks, I guess, I'm gonna get less than 7 marks.

During training, I injured my left thumb during the games. I told the only CI about it and apparently I was shunned away. Speechless, right? Yah, yah. I'm too close to you. After friday's training, I shall treat you like how I treat other CIs which are total strangers to me. As in, just walk pass them. Okay? Kids these days are getting violent. Hao Min's attitude was somehow nicer. He was nice to me and I hope that it remains that way. He was a brat a few weeks ago. I teached them parts of the hurricane lamp with Delvin and I guess, it was rather successful. But after they're combined, I realized that I was actually showing the answers to the cadets while I was holding the manual. Damn it! After training was around 6, and the sec twos and Sir Steven has yet to come back. Our drill canes were with them. Damn... So, Qian Ying and I spent time waiting for them. I met Suhaila awhile before going back to school and I felt like I was a mad woman. My legs aren't that long and I was walking like a giant. Hahaha!!! After picking up the drill canes and passing to Nigel the message, Qian Ying and I went off.

About today (Saturday), I went for my meeting with the overall course advisor, CI in charge, assistant course coordinator. Nothing much except for the stories after meeting. It was about spooky encounters during camps. It's rather freaky when you hear it. There's ATC, STC, sec 1 UG camp versions. There's also lots of spots to take note of in the NPCC Ubin campsite.

Sigh... After today, I found out that I just can't be disappointed anymore. I mean, I am disappointed with you, again. But I just can't say it because I myself don't know why. I know that from your point of view, there's nothing for me to be disappointed. Yeap, that're true. Also, I'm just disappointed again. I know that I can't be disappointed because, I just can't feel that way anymore. This is just so hard to explain. I know I suck at lying. And yeah, I'm gonna lie about this matter all the way because I'm just so sick of this because it's been repeating.

It BLOWed up at 7:56 AM

Thursday, August 20, 2009

I'm getting stressed. It's actually the first time that I ever study. And, I don't know how. But, I'm doing it my way. There's POA and Maths CA tomorrow. The 2 subjects are equally important to me and I was in dilemma on which to study first. Ah well, I just hope I can pass it. That's all I hope for. I'm actually studying POA first. I revisited the notes and worksheet. I re-do it and actually, it's quite easy! I'm getting it right too, just accept that I have to take note of the different accounts. It's easy, but tricky.

Melvin talked to me just now. It was about tomorrow's training programme. Apparently, they're short of manpower and I'm gonna teach my love's sec 1s tomorrow for their revision of knots & lashings. 3 things to revise. I can manage it, I guess. After all, I proved myself that I can. I'm also getting my very own drill cane tomorrow! AHAHA!!

It BLOWed up at 3:06 AM

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

There's something till now that I just can't understand. Why does Mr Chai thinks that teenagers are bunch of craps? Why does he keep hurling these verbal abuse to my class? I mean, my class isn't that perfect and I have to admit, we're delaying the NAPFA test. I think that it's because we're already ''afraid'' OR we're just taking the test for the sake of it. But honestly, I take it for the sake of taking it. I just managed to brush through all the stations with either an ''D'' or ''E''. But I just can't pass my standing broad jump. And that's not okay with that guy. He called me and Joey out to class to settle the scores. I mean, can't he just accept it? What's with it? I just failed one station and he's making a big fuss out of it. Yes, you showed the class how you jump, yes, it's true that I don't wanna change. And I don't wanna change about my way of jumping, so what can you do about it? I have an old injury to my knee that I have not mentioned it, mind you. I just don't get it. Other PE teachers from what I know will be okay with it. But you? You always make a big fuss about how my class can't run on time, can't do this and that. Some people just can't jump, teacher. Can you understand this? I have a phobia in me that I have to deal with it and I'm struggling with it for almost every PE lesson. You always say that we don't wanna change. But I don't think that it'll make that much of a difference even if we change. Because, we'll still be yelled at. I just can't jump. Why, you ask? I JUST CAN'T. You should try to understand what we, students are thinking. You shouldn't be calling us a bunch of craps. You were once a teenager yourself or were you born straight into a middle aged man? Think about it. You're not Benjamin Button. I believe that more people are going to me avoiding your class soon. So what if you're a teacher, a dean?

I just can't understand him. Even teachers I talk to are talking about him during cross country. Spoiler....

It BLOWed up at 6:40 AM

Monday, August 17, 2009

Today's like a recurring day. It happens all the time. I'm getting so sick of it. You wake up as early as 6.30 in the morning, get ready for school and yes, you go to school. You spend at least 1/4 of the day listening your teachers gaining knowledge. But I suddenly had this thought that Singapore's education system is actually pretty dumb. What's happen after secondary school? You'll be either in a JC, poly or ITE. But when you're in a teritiary edcuation, your course only focuses on certain topics. Ain't that kinda dumb? What about the other topics? Maybe it's for life knowledge... I don't know.

As I was having tuition today, my tutor told me that actually the teachers are dumb. She told me that when she was still studying in secondary school, she used to look through the textbook examples and workbook exercises by herself. So, she don't actually pay attention in class. For that, she scored well. When the exams are coming, she'll be really studying. This is the first time that I've ever heard of such things, but well, maybe I should try it. Haha.

I had my gastrics acting up on me again. The stinging pain was there and damn, I didn't bring my medicine simply because I finished it the last time. Xuan You, Faisal and Jared thought that I was having mood swings and I was quite surprised to hear it. I don't usually have mood swings. And they later concluded that I was having my period and I was off to change my.. *AHEM*. They're so dumb... Apparently only Jared knows what's wrong with me. And yes, I eventually signed out at around 12. Maybe I should listen to ''Dr. Tan'''s advice of eating bananas. HAHA!

There's PE and ACE tomorrow. It's sooo.. boring, I guess? See.. I even ran out of words to describe them. I'm okay with PE but for ACE, honestly, I'm not ready for the presentation. *freaking out.....*

It BLOWed up at 7:04 AM

Saturday, August 15, 2009

I really have a grudge on you. A really bad one. For that, I hope you burn in hell. I really hate you. Why do you always have to act a goodie-goodie in front of people? You only know how to cry, that's what I know. When I was 14, I still had good relations with you till when I get to know somebody that makes me think twice about you. Whatever that somebody said came true and it turns out that you're really a bitch. I'm getting really frustrated with you because it seems that you're closing around me. Just thinking about you makes me sick. I used to think that you're pretty, not till I see your teeth. At least I have a perfect set of teeth, unlike you. I feel like burning your hair and using sand paper to sand those awful teeth. You just suck. You're so damn fucking fucked up xialan. Steal other girl's boyfriends, talk stories to teachers and friends. What is this?! I know you're slow in thinking, but I believe that there is no need for this. Sometimes I have doubts about it. You're think you're such a great god-lover? No, I don't think so. I'm glad that my friend told me about you and him. After hearing it and sharing it, we're all disgusted. And you, do you even have some sense of responsibility? My picture taken during March is still with you, I believe. It's been a fucking 5 months period and I have yet to receive it. Don't tell me I didn't get it from you, I did , okay. You think the whole unit's going to thank you just because you cooked for us? Well, fine, thank you. But you're still stealing other people's jobs. Don't you think you're a fool, an extra? You think you're all that? You're not at all. Truth is, nobody likes you. I still don't get it why you can get friends to pity with you your ''plight''. You're just a good for nothing. Don't shame your parents. You wanna be the leader, eh? Your leadership sucks! Even if I were to fail, I won't fail as badly as you. You're the worst kind. I will never ever forget who you are, you bitch.

I wish you burn in hell. You really suck.

It BLOWed up at 8:30 AM

Sunday, August 9, 2009

44 years ago, Singapore finally gained independence. And, the nation is celebrating it. Haha. I watched NDP all the way today, and I only look forward to one segment. That is the parade formation, of course. I mean, after I went to NPAP, I don't know what's with me. I just enjoy it. I was like a little girl and my eyes can't look elsewhere except for the TV. It's an honour to be marching in one of the contingents. This must how it feels like for Irfan. It was brilliant. When I saw the usual navy blue uniform, I was excited. Shortly after, there were video clips from various people from different UGs talking about why they'll protect Singapore. I saw this very familiar CI from NPCC and I just can't figure who's he. In the end, I discovered that he's a CII (cadet inspector instructor). Whoaa, nice. I remembered that there was a command for the flag party and I laughed. Pangipangi(?) just sounds funny to me. It means flag it Malay, I guess. Ha. I've been wondering about this. But is it a trend for parade commanders or any high ranking people to give command with a ''ha'' behind? For example, hentak kaki, cepat hen-ha. That's what I heard from NPAP. And today, for NDP, I heard ''senjaaaa-ha!'' Either there's something wrong with my ears or it's just to loud to make out what is the command. Oh well...

I had an awesome day with my fat ass. And I feel guilty about it. We went for a movie, Where got Ghost? And there was lunch and fish spa. He spend quite a big amount on me today, I presume. Just next time, it'll be my treat. ^^ At least now, his feet looks nicer. (That's because his feet is just too ugly to look at.) I think the fishes ate all the dead skin. Ahahaha.

It BLOWed up at 8:41 AM

Saturday, August 8, 2009

1st draft for proposal is done!!! Woo~ And Irfan finally called and that was after his NDP rehearsal. Wow, right? But I produced the proposal out without him eventually. When he called, I was so relieved. When I asked him how he's feeling he was like: ''Don't push it.'' Wtf lah, I just wanna show some concern. That was what I get in return. After all, we're working together, can't I ask that question? Dumb dumb ahh... All the job positions in the hierarchy chart are OFFICIAL. There's no turning back for it unless, the squad has violent objections. But I don't really care, it's in black and white now. :D Khaliesah, the advisor has no much of a comments about it. Except for my grammar, spelling mistakes. But I still can't figure out about something...

And so, the proposal is sent to the CI in charge which just so happens to be my boyfriend. I still find it damn darn weird when you're the event coordinator and your boyfriend is the overall CI in charge. It's just so... weird. But well, hope he can take a look at it when he comes home from work at 1 in the morning, I guess? Call me crazy, but when I looked again and again at his candid shot while we were at Carl's Jr, he looks kinda chubby. That's what I like about him, I guess. HAHA!

I feel quite ''painful'' now. My left shoulder is starting to hurt again. My left shin isn't doing that good either. Ever since I experienced the cramp on my leg on Wednesday, I've been having the ''muscle pull'' whenever I walk. Bloody hell.

I also received pictures from Effa. These pictures dated back to April this year when we sent Fern back to Thailand. It was quite emotional. But Syarr still owes me plenty more of those pictures! She's a darl.

I really need to organize my black ring file and clean up my room. I'm beginning to lose my stuff. To make matters worst, my wallet is with my fat ass. AHHHHHHHHH!!

It BLOWed up at 7:07 AM

Friday, August 7, 2009

I didn't bring my thermometer today and I have 3 hours detention and I have yet to serve it. I rather have it on Tuesday next week. If I had it today, it would be damn boring because I didn't bring anything that I can spend time with. Oh well, I hope I don't get any extra hours just because I skipped detention.

This year's national day celebration was quite a let down. That's what I would say. But it's not that bad. They started rehearsel only on Tuesday. Can't expect that much. I still don't get it with the Indian guy thing with the Chinese girl thing, it's more to Racial Harmony Day. Great thing is, it ended really fast at 1045.

Today's the deadline for the proposal and Irfan and I have not completed it. There's the objectives and timeline. With him being damn busy, how can I cope? My mind's gonna burst. Activity proposals starts next Friday. It just so clashes with the NCO written test paper. I'm gonna have more white hairs like Mr Ow soon...

It BLOWed up at 2:10 AM

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Today's my school's cross country. It was quite a brief run but it was really slow when we were waiting for the runners. The duty was quite okay, but in the end there were people missing. It was simply because the message didn't get to them, I believe. I spent 8 bucks for cab fare at the start of the morning to Pasir Ris Park for it because I was running late after meeting Syarr for a brief moment. During the whole duty, I got to know Ming Jun from sec 2. He's a chubby boy. Haha. Mr Chai was cycling all the way and he was a nuisance to me. He even yelled at us, marshals because we didn't go our job well. Well, it's not our fault if the students refuse to listen. Mr Chong and Miss Kaur later shared with me their opinion about Mr Chai when I asked them what do they think of Mr Chai. Maybe the guy's just stressed. I don't know, I just feel he is a nuisance. It was quite fun when you can cheer on the people you know when you see them run/ walk past you. Especially Qian Ying. I didn't expect her to really run and I believe that she's in the first 30 girls. But when I saw this male teacher, I was disgusted. I really had a bad experience with him and I think some other students from our school knows about how he treats students. It's total bullshit about him.

So after the cross country, I was walking with Joey, Jia Hui and Kang Lin. They're really great friends. I love 'em. Qian Ying texted me and I went with her awhile to some place and along the way, we bumped into Amanda and Pearlyn. After everything, Qian Ying headed to the interchange while I went to MacDonald's at White Sands for Irfan. The meeting, I think, lasted for approximately 2 hours. But well, at least we covered what I want. As usual, the snob was there. I think I really do have something against him.

After the meeting, I went to take bus 15 but before I headed to the interchange, I remembered something. The auntie at MacDonald's cleared my bar bell away. It was in a serviette. I told Irfan about it and he was like silent all the way. I mean, omg lah, Yongsheng bought this for me and I lost it just like that. How dumb can I get? Oh well, I think I gotta get more bar bells again. When I reached my bus stop and went over the opposite side to wait for his Majesty, I saw Qian Ying again. Haha. She was like running towards me when she saw me. I mean, I can't believe it lor. Haha. And she was gone in an instant again. Lol.

And so, today just past briefly and school continue's tomorrow. Friday would be the National Day celebration. Honestly, I can't bare to watch Jia Ji, Delvin, Putra, Asyraf and Khaliesah in the 'parade'. I wanted to be part of it but apparently, I can't. Sigh.. I'm really tired of this. And I still can remember how Putra's reaction was when I asked him about this matter. I better forget this...

It BLOWed up at 8:20 AM

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

I have no words to describe how I'm feeling now. I'm just so sick and tired of this. This is the 2nd time that this sort of 'matter' has happened. Try feeling that you have been kept away from the important things which you need to know. In short, you're kept in the dark. I rather keep things all to myself now. It's not a matter of asking him or not, it doesn't matter. Even if he knows about it and tries to resolve this matter for me, the problem isn't going to work out. The problem lies with the other 24 of them. Not the CI. And please lah, stop telling me or asking me why I didn't ask him. I know that this is a problem with me. I'm working on it. I expected you to calm me down or something but apparently, that's not the case.

Being upset with this incident is pure stupidity. And yes, I am upset about this. Nobody can do anything about this except me. I'd like to say to the rest of you guys, Thank you for keeping me in the dark. Thank you very much. This entire episode is all my fault lah, I'm the fool.

It BLOWed up at 2:09 AM

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Weekends are getting boring. But I wish the holidays would come soon. Well, let's talk about Friday. I'm promoted to SSGT. I'm not really happy about it like other people because, I don't think Sir Steven really marked it as according to my standard. To me, I really sucked at the test. I even nearly lost my balance when Ke Belakang Pusing was given. Wtf, right? Zzz. That's why, I wanted to re-take the test even if I passed, because, I think that I can do so much better. Out of some many components of the test, I still think that I did the receiving article nicely. That's all. And, I can't do slow march. I just can't keep my balance. -.- But well, at least I got the rank, but not the badge. I thought I couldn't make it because I heard that out of 10 people who took the test, only 1 of us passed. It turned out to be joke. But I think that it's quite true but it's because of the first component that let us pass. The test is actually simple. But a lot of practice is needed. But well, I had fun with the sec ones when they talk about themselves. I had quite a number of ideas of HIT course and NCO course too. Maybe we should have flag raising. Is it a bad or a good idea? I don't know... And after squad 1 and 2 was gone, I got ''interrogated'' by Sir Steven just because I was wearing mufti. I'd like to say, Sorry lah. Apparently I didn't get the message that we were required to have our PT-kit for this week's training. My fault lah, I didn't get the message, I didn't know about it. Nobody tell me and I didn't bother to go find out. Sorry lah! After that my mood was getting damn sian because of 2 main reasons. First one was because of him, the second one was because, I was getting a fever. When I went home, my temperature was like about 38.3. But now, I'm okay now.

Enough about NPCC. I'm getting sick about it soon, again. Zzz. It's because of such people, the society is getting corrupted. I feel so weird now, that's because I have nothing to do except to prepare for tomorrow's school. But what's there to prepare?

It BLOWed up at 12:03 AM