MY TRASH

Saturday, December 5, 2009

I've been wanting to do this post for a very long time now, and I know, it's kinda crazy to do this when it's 2 in the morning. I had quite some time to think back about my life for 15 years, and how I've became myself today. My life isn't perfect, how about yours? My life is like a novel, that's ho I joke around with it, maybe I can make money out of it. I'm only 16 after March next year and I've experienced so many things that some soon-to-be 16 year olds have not even yet experienced. If you're of those people whom I talked to you about my life, well, I trust you and I hope that whatever I experienced can be shared with you because I hope other people don't fall for it or get into deep hurt.

Right now, I feel rather emotionless when I think back. Please exit the internet browser if you don't like reading long stuff.

Born into 1994, I was raised in a proper family by my parents. They're both 50 years old this year. My mom was pregnant with me when she was 35, and it was only 2 years after my parents' marriage did they decided to have me. When I was a baby, I was still in my 5th uncles' house in the Hougang area. My parents moved into Tampines when I was a year old and I spent the next 12 years at that house. That's where all my childhood and my grandmother's memories are. I'm proud of myself, I use a pair of chopsticks and a rice bowl for my meals. I speak more chinese than English.

Tampines
I moved a couple of times. From Tampines Street 33 to Avenue 9 to finally where I live today, Street 41. I moved to my cousin's house at avenue 9 temporally because my parents didn't found a suitable house yet. I remembered I was the one who persuaded my parents to get this house, my dad was away in Thailand for some work business when I saw this flat with my mom. I liked it instantly though it was the smallest kind of the 3-room flat, 3I. I'm a single child and I live with my parents, this is the house that suits my family of 3 people.

My grandmother
My grandmother (my mom's mom) always stayed over at my house. She lived at Bukit Batok and she would take the train and the bus just to come visit me and my mom. I still can remember how she used to bring me to MacDonald's, to get me something to eat, how we used to talk to each other, and how I listened to her stories from the past. As I grew older, I became more apart from her. I didn't get to visit her more, and gradually, the visits lessened. She became sick when I was about 11 and I didn't visit her at all. I really wanted to, but what can I do? I was only 11 years old. When I did got a chance to visit her, she was lying on the bed, looking really pale. She was almost skins and bones. My relatives were all around her, and I didn't really get a chance to speak to her. When she got discharged from the hospital, my mom visited her more often, and so did I. But what the hell was I thinking? Whenever I visited her, I would complain to my mom and said visiting my grandmother was a pain. On the day she passed on, I remember, my 2nd aunt called to say she passed on at 12 noon and I was to tell my parents about the news. I hung up soon after, and I was stunned. The grandmother I loved dearly as a child was gone, and I wasn't there for her at all. I love her dearly, and even as 4 years has passed, it's the biggest life regret I had. I wanted to ask my grandfather for his forgiveness about her, but I guess I was too late too, because he's gone as well. He did forgive me, because when I asked him for it, he just gave a nod. I broke down when that happened, as my memory rests, I can never forget what I lost. I lost one of the most important figures in my life, and I wish she could be apart of it. But it's too late. 4 years has gone so fast...

My 5th uncle and auntie
My uncle and my auntie (my dad's 5th brother) is really awesome to me. He took really great care of me when I was young and I love him so much along with my auntie. Though they're divorced now, I still remember my memories with them. My uncle once asked my mom, 'why is your daughter so weird? I brought her to the candy store today and she didn't want anything. When I brought Jamie or Jeanie (my other cousins, they're sisters) to the store, they practically wanted everything.' Well, I don't know why, I just don't like candy. I have some candy from time to time, but not always. My uncle and auntie loved me dearly because they said, I'm special. When they ask me to wait a spot or place, I'll just stand there and wait. If they ask me to sit and wait, I'll be just sitting down and being all quiet. That's what they said about me when I was young. My uncle and auntie is just like my 2nd parents. My uncle is a charismatic man, but he's hitting 60 soon. As for my auntie, she's good looking for age, she's hitting 60 as well soon. I love them to death.

My family (dad's side)
My dad has 7 brothers and 2 sisters. His rank is the 9th in the family. My dad's side would be more noisy, because I have at least 30 cousins in total in which I don't know 10 of their names. The oldest cousin of mine is about 40 years old, I guess while the youngest is only 11. My cousin had kids and so, that makes me a aunt and I have a nephew and a niece. Surprisingly, my niece is a year older than me and my nephew is a year younger than me. And recently, their father went to report to the newspapers about his insurance claims thingy. Wth, what a scrooge. I can't believe I lived I met my so called cousin-in-law this year, he inspired me a lot to be a environmentalist. I still remember the talk he and I shared over his kitchen counter at his Kembangan home during Chinese New Year Eve, and we had Coke + Vodka. It was like a life changing moment for me to talk to him. Whenever there's dinner or something, we would gather at Yishun, the place where my auntie lives with my grandma.

My family (mom's side)
Now, my mom's side is sorta of like the 'higher class people'. My mom has 2 older brothers and 2 older sisters. She's the youngest. My 2nd aunt is more closer to my mom. There's one thing I dislike about her, she's rubbing it in when she talks about my grandmother. She really don't know how much I regret I felt, and how the guilt is killing me. Whenever we have dinner there, it's always a quiet one for me. Usually, I'll be bored to death. I'm the youngest cousin there, wth. I have 3 nieces here. And well, if there's a dinner or something, we'll be at Bukit Batok, but since both my grandparents are gone now, I don't know where's the next place for it.

Primary School life: Class of 1G to 6G, 2001 - 2006
I attended nursery school, and kindergarten. I remember my first day of primary 1 till now. I woke up in the morning, and my dad was still in bed. He woke up and taught me how to count money. He gave me 60 cents as my first pocket money. I held my mom's hand as I went to my school, and surprisingly, the uniform was comfortable. I met my buddy who's like this older kid in school to guide me during recess. I can't remember her name, but I remember her face. It's stuck in my mind. When I was primary 5, I met my own buddy who's in primary 1, her name was Ineza. Hahahahaaa, what a sweet girl, I thought she was. But well, we hit off pretty well. I miss my primary school buddies and when I moved on to secondary school, some of my primary school schoolmates went to the same school as me. Edwina, Cassandra, Luke, Irfan, Nabil (Eevee), Danial, Luqman, Syafiq. I still visit my primary school regularly with my old pals like June and Shu Xian, it's part of my childhood. I can never forget what happened in there like how I used to get yelled at by my teachers and staring at them back. Hahahaaa, good memories. And of course, how I used to run around in the library with my friends.

1st day in secondary school
Like any other students in secondary 1, I was a nerd. I was actually late for my first day in school. I took the train but I was dumb, I thought I know it all, but I didn't. As you guys might know, Temasek JC's uniform looks alike to my school uniform. When I alighted at Bedok, I followed a student from TJC, I thought she was from my school. I followed her down the train and walked for quite awhile to a bus stop. That was when it struck my mind, WRONG PERSON! LOL! It's funny. But well, I eventually found my school, because I followed another person and yeap, it's the right person to my school. My school was in Bedok in 2007, it's a holding site till it moved back to Tampines. Yeah, that's how I was for the first day.

CCA woes
When it was time to choose the CCA of my choice, I picked volleyball, wth?! It was under the influence of my ex boyfriend. He plays volleyball for Catholic High. He was definitely happy that I chose it, but I regret it so much. I went for the training only once and I transferred myself to NPCC under the influence of Edwina and Qian Ying. Well, I have no regrets about it and I joined the squad only in March 2007. A pleasant CCA, I thought. My parents were definitely happy and so was my cousin, Jeanie. She's from NPCC as well, area 4, I think. My school was a gold unit and it made things in unit strict and harsh. My squad instructor was CI Steven and from time to time, we got 'pumped' by him. But it's all over in 2009, when we're the NCOs of the unit. I went through major events like Area 9 Games Day 2009 as a referee for the girls', NPCC Day Parade 2009 in the GOH contingent, helped out in the campfire preparation up to midnight in school for the student counsellors in 2008, I was the head of administration for the secondary 1 UG camp 2009, courses like Civil Defence, SANA, Police Knowledge, National Heritage and NCO course which I became the coordinator for 2009. But I wasn't much of the coordinator after the stupid conflict with Irfan which was eventually solved. I went to area 9's STC as the campfire emcee and still proud of it! I own a drill cane, but the drill cane is longer than my arm.. ):

There's still part II, and I'll continue it tomorrow. It's like a book when I try to type about my life. It might be weird to you, but I just want to see how long it can be. I'm contented with my life and I went through a lot, how about you?

***These paragraphs that I wrote are just a brief summary and it's not a whole.

It BLOWed up at 10:09 AM