MY TRASH

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Dear Rasrimin,

I'm glad if you see this, and if you don't, then well, it might be a secret. Trying to except that you do exsist in my life makes me feel like I've been a long, long dream. The way we hooked up is simply unbelievable to me even till today, after 7 months. You weren't exactly the guy that I was dreaming about or expect, but you are who you are, and I love you for that. I don't know what is about you, you're just so wonderful to me. Many of my friends said that we won't last till this far, and well, we proved them wrong. And so, many of my friends are happy for me because I have you. My juniors can even ask this question, 'How can Heather's boyfriend and her stay together despite the difference in religion?' This might be something special, right?

The way we met is really unbelievable, because of the fact that even though we knew each other over the internet, we didn't expect that we lived so close to each other. You are pratically like a dream come true for me, or is it? Though you deny this always, I never did imagined that we'd fall in love immediately.

When I lost my motivation to study after getting a experience of nearly getting retained, you found the motivation back for me to study. I was really touched by what you said, and you gave me your report books to look through whenever I want to give up because you didn't want me to be like you. No guy in my history of living in 16 years ever helped me on it. And of course, I was touched by what you said and do so it did motivated me to do well in the beginning of the year.

I met you when I was only 15, but till today I ask myself, what is it about you that is so special to me? Well, I don't know about it. I will never know and neither will you. Maybe at the age of 15, I had already possessed the maturity to think about this and so many I've experienced so many different things with different guys. You were a simple guy when I met you, and till today you're still the simple guy. Life can be simple if you want it to be, and I'm glad that this is how you want it to be. Whenever we argue or quarrel, you'd end up smiling, that's how sweet we are, right? That's what happened to my dad when he quarrells with my mom.

I just can't express how I feel now towards you, and it might be too early to say so especially nobody knows what's gonna happen in the future. The future is highly unpredictable, and well, life is indeed full of choices. Make the right choice, and you'll have a awesome life. But if you made the wrong one, I'm sorry because one horrible thing might lead to other horrible things. And in my life, I did make the right choice of being with you. Don't argue back with me now, because I love you so much that you can't even know how much it is.

When you broke my heart about 2 and a half months ago, I came to realize how fragile we actually are, and I cam to realize how precious you are to me. It actually gives a 'preview' of how I would be like when I live my life without you. I was screaming in pain, as the pain just won't go away from my heart. I just hope that you know, think before what you say and stuff. Till today, it creates a very big impact on me.

I say things to you that I normally don't say to the opposite sex, and for what I said to you, it's definitely true. And I'm seriously glad that you can except me for who I am, despite my past with those flings and affiars I had. My past is something that I would never forget, because it made me of who I am.

I love every single thing about you, and even down to you being pissed off at me. I now know what I can use against you when you're pissed off. And don't forget what I gave you for Valentine's Day!

My point of saying all this is because I want to let you know that even if there's a day where we go our seperate ways, you'd definitely be stuck in my mind for a long, long, long time. This is how special you are and how you make me come to realize things in life. Like what you said, sometimes you won't dare talk back to me when we argue, but hey, if you're unhappy, please speak up. If you don't nobody will ever know how you feel and why'd you feel so unhappy.

I want to say so much to you always, but just by looking at you warms up myself and I just feel so fuzzy when I hold on to you. I wanna say that, when you say you won't ever leave me, make sure you don't ever leave me. If you think that you're going our seperate ways in the near future, it's best for you not to say it at all and just enjoy this time being together. I'm not trying to hint anything here, but I just don't want you making empty promises.

Being with you is the best thing ever yet, and if we really do have a future together, I sure do hope that you're ready to fight for what you and I believe, and not just give up with a snap of our fingers. If you don't have a future together, it's alright to me actually, because just one day, I have to except it.

I love you more than you do love me. :D

It BLOWed up at 8:10 AM