MY TRASH

Sunday, June 27, 2010

School is starting tomorrow.. HAIYAAAAAAA

School is starting, which means it's one step closer to N levels.. Which also means, I'm gonna get out of school soon. xD

On the last day of school, I woke up at 1330... I had a embarrassing moment today, I wore my shorts the other way round. -.- And I even went to TM with rasras and passed by so many people. DAMNIT! And after that, I sent him home. So he was comparing about the number of times I sent him home and the number of times he sent me home. Of course he sent me home more, I'm his girlfriend! Maybe we should switch our positions in each other's heart, yeah? :D

And after that, Syarr came over to his block and the 3 of us talked for awhile. And I was wondering if the 'ice jelly' he bought melted... AHAHAHA! And he'd be away from my sight again next week.. And I hope he'd be carrying a lighter or something the next time I see him again, so that he can light up my heart because it feels really empty and cold... I don't really want to spend time with my friends anymore, I want my time to be spent with you. But I don't think you're thinking that way. Whatever I said, 98% of the things I said to you, you don't seem to listen. I'm not a superwoman girlfriend or what, but I do have my feelings... And I want you to feel them. I really need some time and attention from you badly. Whatever I want to say to you gets stuck in my chest and it's so hard to pour it out to you. The telepathy between me and you seems like it's malfunctioning. WHERE ARE YOU NOW?

Dearly beloved, are you listening?
I can't remember a word that you were saying

I hope you are listening.

So Syarr and I hung around, and went to a salon to get her hair cut. A few snips for 10 bucks. O: Later on, we crossed over near school to meet JUJU. JUJU, syarr and I just sat around waiting for Del. But he is just forever late. After syarr went off, JUJU accompanied me to wait for his reply because of a stupid thing he did. After JUJU went off, Del reached and we hung around again. And he sure is weird, he can just tell me ANYTHING. Tell him A, he'll talk to you about Z. I did something mean to him, while he was crapping at the sunplaza park toilet, I dumped WET TOILET PAPER into the cubicle he was in. AHAHAHAHA. 3 shots, but only 1 shot hit him. xDDD He told me a lot about his Penang trip stuff and I sure do hope to get to go on another trip with my schoolmates to a foreign country. Hearing him talk makes me think about the times where I was in Vietnam. A memory that I'd never forget.

And yesssssssss! 4A2 changed PE teacher!!!

It BLOWed up at 7:19 AM

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Syarr and I are thinking, are we mistakes to the ones we love dearly? Sometimes girls just need attention from their significant other, even for the most damn matured girls you ever know.

For what exactly is the attention I'm talking about? I'm not talking about those girls who are attention seekers, but those who really do need some listening ear to listen to them whine.

I might be really very matured to you, indifferent from other girls, but please, please, please I do need attention too. GET THAT IN YOUR BRAIN!

I'm getting rather pissed off today, my dad made a impromptu decision on getting the air con servicemen to come over for his air conditioning unit in his room. For my air conditioning unit, there wasn't any problem, because I don't use it often. xD

What I'm trying to say is that, its not that I don't want to wait for the servicemen, but it was really out of the blue. I heard mom mentioning that you'd ask them to come over on Thursday, but after I made plans with my classmate, you told me to stay at home instead. So, fine... I stayed at home and tomorrow, I have to stay at home too. Please just don't make any dumb impromptu decisions.

I've been wanting to tell you this... And I'm pissed off deep down on Tuesday, because you choose not to listen. It's true that I'm still a little girl, but hey, I'm gonna end secondary school life at the end of the year. I might never know how tiring it is for you to work, but I do admire you on that. No work = no money, that's what you said. Sometimes when you're just free, I'd really LOVE to have you by my side. I don't want to drift apart from you, the feeling sucks. I don't want a silent breakup to happen. I need you always, and I want you to know that.

It's so god damned hard to even get you over to just chill and have some drinks. You won't even spend a single cent, what's the big issue here? You told me that you spend money like water, but have it occur to you that you DO NEED TO spend the money on your necessities? Have nice talk with your mom, and everything would be cleared. If you don't, do you think it can be solved? Do you even want the damn problem to be burdened on you even when you get married and live outside? TALK TO YOUR MOM. TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL. If you don't, what's the point of doing all these stuff for her? If you don't clear this up with your mom, and keep whining about it to me, I can listen to you whine all day, but can you? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. TALK TO YOUR MOM. Well, I don't know your family, BECAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW THAT HEATHER FOO EXIST, AND THAT SHE IS THE GIRL WHO LOVE THEIR SON SO DARN MUCH THAT HE NEVER COULD HAVE IMAGINED IT.

I'm always there when you need me by your request... And even right by your side when you don't need me by your side. But why aren't you by my side when you need me just for the most simplest thing by getting breakfast? Or even sending me to school? To be frank, I just love it when I rush out of class when the bell rings to cross over the road to see you. And I curse and swear the moment I missed your calls. Do you know how much you mean to me?

How long must you wait for it?

You are the best thing that has ever happen to me, I saw all the 'choices' my mom mentioned... And I still want you. I thought that I was the best thing that ever happened to you, but it never did show... I thought I was someone very different from other girls that you would be a different guy. Quit saying that you know, you know. What do you know? SOLVE THE DARN PROBLEM WITH ME, DON'T SAY NO.

It BLOWed up at 8:58 AM

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Things change very unexpectly always, full of uncertainty. There's much tension going on between me and some people who I used to be friends with them dearly. Like what Qian Ying said, hating somebody is really tiring, and I do agree with her.

People change really unexpectly and I think I lost my best guy friend from class. He said he change and when he feels like talking to me, he would. Wtf? I thought we were friends, how could you just change overnight? The phrase, 'I changed...' is really strong, and I hope you know what you meant by it. You're such a snoob now, and I hope you realize it with your new attitude, jerk... Nice talking to you.

Its about time I did something to me and her, and when Mr Goh talked to me last night over facebook, I realize how important this can be. There has been a whole lot of tension going on between me and you and I'm sure we did share a fair bit of hatred between each other. After all these years, I must congraulate you for being so successful in NPCC, while I'm not. And for your speech during our POP, I thank you for still remembering me as part of squad 4, 2010. I know I cearly suck at my own profession, and I'm just myself when we have trainings, I'd change for myself, not for others. And I'm just glad that some of the sec 3s know do respect me for who I am, not for my rank. Does it occur to you on why the juniors do respect you? Is it because of your rank or just because of yourself? Just so you know, the picture that we first took together in the no.1 uniform for 080808, is still on my frige, but I think it's about time to take it down, right? Honestly, I always have this feeling that I want to catch up with things with you, but I just can't do it. It's like when I see you, you're already so happy with the boys and it just make no sense when I start talking to you. When I first see you hang around with the boys, I'm glad. And well, I am sorry to you and all others that my friendship with you just can't workout. Maybe it could, but we just don't bother. I'd really love to settle this matter between you and me, but there's just this force in me that pulls me back. I really don't know if you'd turn into a bitch against me when I want to resolve it, it's just so uncertain. I never could have imagine this but, yeaaaaaa, I sure do miss the times with you.

I had this family dinner thing on Saturday, and I'm amazed with myself, I can't seem to speak a word to my cousins. My dad really want me to bond well with them, because the fear of his only daughter being alone in the world after her parents is gone seems to haunt him too much. And I predict that when the time is here, and my parents are both gone, I am gonna be all alone in the world and when I do have problems, I'd turn to my friends. Disaster.. And and and, I do want to do something about it too..

My mind is about to rot.. T.T

For all the thoughts and nonsense that I gave to Raspberry, he still can accept it. What a guy, what a guy... And I like Raspberry now, sweet, sweet name. Great meaning to it too. AHAHAHAHAH!!! There's been a lot of frustrations going around me now, and sometimes, I just want you and I to solve it together, it's what's best. And I thought of a new line! I love you way so much that you never could have imagined how much I love you. (((((:

I WANT DR MARTIN'S BOOTSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

It BLOWed up at 6:59 AM

Friday, June 18, 2010

Do you know what's wrong with me? Well, I don't and I'm still trying to figure it out. This afternoon, my mind was suddenly overwhelmed by so many thoughts. Thoughts that I couldn't care less about. I felt really alone and my greatest fear is to be alone, because I'm a only child. I grew up alone, while my parents are away working. Till I die, I never ever want to feel alone. That is why, cherish your siblings. Being a only child is still awesome to me, but being alone is overwhelming.

It BLOWed up at 7:03 AM

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

I feel rather better now, after last night. Doesn't somebody out there now how I feel?

Happy Birthday, Shu Xian! Take good care, be a great mom to yuanyuan. June and I hope that he grows up to be a sweetheart.

Today was rather a slow day for me, but now that it's night, it's fast. My sleeping time has been turned upside down, and I sleep only at around 3 or 4 in the morning and waking up around 1 or 2pm. I had two hours of tuition today, and it was indeed productive! Unforuntnately it was for chemistry only... I went to cut my hair today, and though it wasn't much of a difference, I still like it. It's been 6 months since I cut my hair, and well, it's worthwhile. But like what the christmas tree headed person say, the hairdresser can't stop talking. The way she talks is like yelling at your face. Previously, our topic between me and her was about hairstyles. Today's topic was more sensitive, about religion. And I like her hair colour now, ORANGE!

So I bought some alocohol swabs today for my ear, and yessssss, it belongs to a first aid kit. But heck, I found many uses for it. :DDD

WOOHOO! 25th ANNIVERSARY CONCERT TOMORROW AT ESPLANADE!

It BLOWed up at 7:56 AM

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

I'm getting frustrated nowadays with myself, and I just simply hate the feeling. Everytime I feel frustated, I just wanna put on the nicest clothes that I have, and meet some new people. But well, that doesn't always happen... I'm sorry, there's is just something deeply wrong with me, and I don't know how to handle it. I was really bumped when you told me you don't ever need it in your life anymore, it affected really badly till now. I don't even know how to approach you on this matter, and nobody wants to listen. Even if they do, I have yet to find the solution. I don't want to let this spoil everything that we have right now at this moment. Maybe I'm just not used to it yet, but I really do want you to know and realize how hard it is for me. Can't you just realize it? I am strong, but not all the way through. PLEASE REALIZE THIS PROBLEM INSIDE OF ME NOW

It BLOWed up at 11:12 AM